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but not in your marriage as it stands now. Your wife is too afraid of losing you to a, yet her refusal to accept your sexuality be the very thing that drives you to make her fear a reality. You're too afraid to be your whole self with the woman you married, yet your refusal to face that fear and be honest with her be the very thing that drives her to put herself deeper in denial rather than to forge deeper intimacy between you two. My fiance and I have been together just over 4 years. I've been open with him from the start about my being polyamorous and bisexual. He's opened up more and more over the years with me about his bisexual experiences and fantasies. So I understand that being a completely accepting partner doesn't guarantee that my is able to tell me his whole truth in one sitting. This is an ongoing conversation you need to have with your wife if you want to intimately partner with her. Please, just keep talking to her, and keep listening. Rather than dealing with the guilt of playing safely and discretely, you could be on your way to dealing with the excitement of being able to share your whole self with your wife which not even need to include other people. Over time your wife could realize that she's not going to lose you to a, especially if she's able to explore your kinky/bisexual side WITH HER rather than without her.
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