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Two times a year for the last 4 years, I've simply tried to communicate my emotional and physical needs and have gone ignored. In fact, the lack of change in the relationship has developed into resentment. So much that at times I am no longer attracted to her. We go weeks at a time without touching or hugging or kissing, I have not felt like I was a priority for several years. I have always made her wants and needs a priority over anything, whether its work or night classes or over family, she has been my priority. When I make attempts to show her affection she either turns her cheek to a kiss or pulls her hand away or brushes my hand away from her. It always appears she avoids any emotional communication aside from her work. She says "i don't care" way too much. I wanted to my best friend and thought I did. But our relationship in definition is more like a roommate arrangement not a marriage. When I'm down, I don't feel comforted, when I need someone to pick me up I would expect my wife/bf would do for me as I would for her. Let her vent, take care of her, and do what I can to lift some of the weight off of her and onto myself, put a smile on her face with some sarcasm and a joke, massage her feet, the list goes on I treat people the way I want to be treated. Reciprocation. I feel there is too little. I don't give with the expectation of receiving something equal or better in return but after years of giving, and practiy begging for reciprocation I'm to a point where I'm am lacking reasons to give. Usually the reason is I want to. I guess my drive to want to make her happy is dwindling and day after day and I'm running on empty. We both eventually want. when we have a, we have nights where we only get 2 hrs of sleep, if she cannot emotionally or physiy or romantiy support me now, how could we possibly raise together. We had it once, where did it go and why? I was under the impression that we would help each other and be there when we needed one another, unfortunately that has not been the case, I've tried pleading with her that I her and want us to be happy. I have needs that (in a marriage) only my wife can provide. I bothers me immensly that she is clearly not comfortable or herself, or affectionate with me unless she is drunk.
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